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Blame Changer, understanding domestic violence

This book provides a thoughtful explanation of the ways in which women’s lives are impacted by family violence. It helps to clarify many of the myths and misconceptions about the nature and dynamics of family violence informed by women’s lived experiences. It will be a great resource for anyone wanting to learn more about this pervasive social problem.  

 — Domestic Violence Victoria (peak body for Victoria’s specialist women and children’s family violence services)

The book speaks directly to the many Australians who have experienced domestic violence, or know someone who has.  And it should be on the desk of every counsellor, police officer, politician and health professional who is in a position to take action at an individual, family, community or policy level to stop domestic violence. Actually, isn't that all of us?

— Heather Gridley, community and counselling psychologist, Honorary Fellow,

College of Arts, Victoria University

 Groundbreaking. A major strength is the author’s use of real life examples when challenging long held beliefs and it offers us new insights into the nature of domestic violence.  Everyone should read this book.  

— Irene Gerrard, social worker and family therapist


This definitive book shines a new light on a complex and difficult issue. Blame Changer includes practical and real advice for victims of domestic violence and for those who know someone who may be suffering abuse. Amongst the heated — and repeated — debate on this crucial issue, Blame Changer speaks with the clear voice of an expert, armed with facts and experience, who can offer solutions.




Carmel O’Brien is a counselling psychologist who has spent more than two decades working with survivors of trauma, violence and abuse.  She was the director of clinical services at Doncare for 14 years, and runs counselling and domestic violence programs.